Everything

Sent to me by a friend today... I get goosebumps even after the third time watching it. Don't we all feel attacked and trapped sometimes by the darkness of Satan's world? Thank you Jesus for fighting for me and my heart every day.



http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

The Pastor's Life

I found this picture in a magazine. It was entitled "The Pastor's Life". Wow. It said more to me than a thousand words; at least any I have read to try to explain my husband's life. Every hand in this picture has been a part of 20 years of ministry. There have always been more offerings fragrant roses, praying hands, and others holding him up. I would always prefer the hands clasped in love or the hands reaching out for help, but sometimes the fist or the pointing hand come. Those are the most painful, the hardest to accept, the most difficult to forgive, and most heart wrenching to let go of. These hands have always been a chance to learn from, and the most difficult to discern. I must choose to stay focused on the most precious times of ministry, but recently it has not been easy. Tears come easily when I think of those I have loved and prayed for, served and shared life and laughed with who have left. I am learning (after 20 years!) that I must make the choice to find life's lessons through these times, not to become embittered, which by Satan's hand is too easy. I will follow the path of God's leading, focus on the love I am surrounded by, not by what I have lost. I don't know that I will ever have a grasp on the Call to Ministry. It is a mystery infused with great joy, great heartache, great adversity and a heart full of love, even those that the world would call unlovable. Jesus would call me to give grace, find the best in every person and situation, (especially my husband!) and most importantly, count the blessings. I have seen my husband bring hope to those in situations that would seem hopeless, bring more joy to a beautiful moment in time, and comfort to those whose grief feels unbearable, and share the beginning of a New life in Christ that was once lost. Not by himself, but Christ working through him. I will continue to abide in Christ for the courage to live and learn as I walk this imperfect path of an imperfect life. Tears also come easily also when I think of the miracles, the sharing and sacrifice of others, and the hearts that love purely that I have been privileged to see with my very eyes, and experience even for myself because of The Pastor's Life.

Extreme Hide and Seek

These are the shoes that play Extreme Hide and Seek. It was the hit of the summer with Andy and his friends. They played it at least twice a week before the bugs got bad. They played it out in the dead of night at a friend's property with 2 acres, and they played it on the concrete wth lights at Atwater High School. They fell through plastic covering feed for animals, fell into bogs, and ran into trees. There are rules. ....The rules are:
Two people are it. They have to count to 100 before searching for everyone . Everyone hides. If you are found you can run. You're not it until you are tagged.
The game is over when two people have been tagged.
Sometimes we set up boundaries. It struck me as curious how much this "game" describes a lot of us. While hiding, the kids get dirty, afraid (it's hecka dark out there), and the adrenaline is pumping like crazy. They become paranoid at the smallest noise, fearing they have been discovered. When we hide our feelings, our comings and goings, our inner thoughts, it can be dangerous. When our hiding becomes a dark secret, we feel dirty, and if it becomes apparent our hiding is going to be discovered, paranoia and fear set in. We sweat. Why? Because from the beginning of time, hiding has never been a positive experience. Think about Adam and Eve. They hid from God. They hid so that He would not discover their disobedience to Him. When we try to hide from God and others our darkness or hurt, our past, even our dreams, it is almost certain we will hit an unexpected force, that compels us to be found. When someone discovers us, someone who is safe, and we are caught, we shouldn't keep running until we have to be tackled or pinned to the ground, we should give up and allow ourselves to be found. The One who always knows where we are hiding desires us to be found. On the other hand, seeking can be good. We were never meant to hide in a muddy bog or exhaust ourselves trying to find a better hiding place. When we seek and find out the truth, in ourselves and others, we break the bonds of fear and darkness, and when Light reveals the hiding places, it can be embarrassing, but don't we always feel better? The game is over, we can rest. We feel good when we are not the ones hiding anymore. We always given a new chance to seek. Hide and Seek was always a nervewracking game for me, unless I was the one who was found and was given the chance to seek. THAT was always pure relief to me. Take a chance. Stop hiding. Be the one seeking the Truth that will dissolve our fears, release us from darkness, and keep us out of the mud in the dark.

My Humble Hero

I am way behind on summer memories! One of my favorite moments that will stay with me always is one of Daniel's last baseball games of the summer. It was the bottom of the 6th, (last inning) one out. Daniel dinked a ball into the infield and and beat it out for a single,still one out. Next batter up, Daniel steals 2nd on the first pitch, and advances to 3rd on a ground ball that produced the 2nd out. I look over at Daniel. I know the Jackie Robinson steal home stance, and he's got it, along with the look in his eyes. Every parent around me knows that in order to win this game, Daniel has to steal home. Coach told him if he thought he could do it, go for it. I have no breath left in my lungs. The ball is pitched. It lands in the dirt, and rolls to the side of the catcher. Before the catcher even knows it. Daniel is sliding into home. Safe! Atwater wins the game! The crowd roars, the players pour out of the dugout, and I breathe and cheer at the same time, I think. I just know that it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Daniel is my hero, my humble hero. He knows that all the gifts he has been given are from God, and he uses them the way God would desire. He never struts, he always smiles, leads with encourgement to others, and plays his best with all his heart. There is no halfway for this ballplayer of mine. Play to win. Live for Christ. I love you son, and I am so proud that you stole home to win the game, but I am prouder of the young man you are becoming.

"There are two kinds of trouble in this world...living and dying.
Lindsay Buckingham

Best Friends and Laundry

This is Andy and Dale. They were born within a month of each other in 1990. They met in 1st grade. They have been best friends ever since. These boys are now 16, live 3 doors down, both about to get their driver's license, and they think WAY too much alike. This is the story of Dale's laundry and their friendship. It all began with the problem of the modern invention of the dryer vs. the hot summer sun. The first strange occurrence was when I went into the garage, and noticed the dryer running, and a strange laundry basket sitting near the dryer. Hmmm, I thought, how could this be? Andy barely knows how to use the dryer (my fault). Matt our youth pastor had come over for dinner before the high school Bible Study. As he and Andy were getting ready to leave, Andy recieves a random thought: "I have to bring Dale his laundry!" and he runs to the garage. He returns with the unfamiliar laundry basket and all of Dale's favorite shirts, his shorts and all his underwear. Andy reveals the mystery. "Dale's dad told him not to use the dryer,and to hang up his shirts, but he just brought them over HERE to dry" Oh. I thought. Matt is laughing hysterically, I can't believe what they have done, I thought laundry meant the wet shirts and bathing suits, but no,their wet shirts and bathing suits were were still laying ON the bathroom floor. So, I did whatever any self respecting mother of a teen would do. I yelled and laughed so hard at the same time I could not really be understood. I start to take all of Dales underwear and hang it over the basket, because Andy has informed me that he needs to return it to Dale so he wear his favorite shirt to youth group. "MOM, this is not your business!" he so loyally declares. "Did you ask me if you could dry his clothes?" "No, I thought it would be fine" he replies calmly. And so Andy dutifully heads down the street to deliver the basket to his best friend, dropping a pair of underwear in the street without noticing on the way. Then John and I watch from a hidden location as Dale's mom watches Andy bring her laundry basket down the street. As Andy explains, the look on her face turns from confusion to disbelief to horrified in about 10 seconds. Dad is looking out the window, and we wouldn't be able to accurately explain his reaction, but we were guessing. As we are uncontrollably laughing, trying to think about how we would react if the shoe was on the proverbally other foot, We realized that we would be SO embarrassed. Matt took Dale's underwear to youth group and shared the entire sordid story with all the high schoolers, and we enjoyed a good laugh with Dale's mom after we talked her out of her embarrassment. Dale came by with a zucchini plant with extremely remorseful eyes. We all realized that we are blessed. If that is the worst thing they ever do in collusion this is good. Even if it was just laundry, I am impressed with the incredible friendship and loyalty which has endured between these two for so many years, and I know many years to come. I called Dale's father this morning, told him this was the neighborhood laundry service, checking to see if he needed to have any clothes dried. His reply was "Oh....Lordy." I am still laughing. I will use this story someday...most likely at Dale's wedding. :)

Legacy

Yesterday, John officiated at the 50th anniversary of Willie and Maggie Bostick. Willie and Maggie became members of our church when the Air Force base shut down, probably 15 years ago now. We loved them the minute they stepped into the door, something about the twinkle in their eyes for each other and the people of the church. I can't even remember how many years ago they left to retire in Florida, to live in the neighborhood that Willie was born in. It had become a much different place, but anywhere they go Willie and Maggie seem to make a difference. John received a call about 2 months ago asking if he would officiate at their re-committment, Willie said it was NOT renewal, because their love DID NOT need to be renewed. :) Willie and Maggie have 4 children, 7 grandchildren, and a whole lot of other people they have opened their lives to that they consider family. Today I just loved to sit and embrace the love that filled that room, and think about how one marriage could affect so many lives. No one tried to pretend that their lives were perfect, but the family was built on faith, love and honesty.That seemed to be enough for every child and grandchild, each with a strong faith in God,each with a story to tell. My favorite moment was when everyone had just finished dancing, and Willie pulled every one of his children into his and Maggie's arms, and they just stood on the dance floor, holding each other as Willie spoke. I wish I could have heard what he said. Whatever it was, it was a momet they will never forget. May our family carry on a legacy of love and laughter as this one has. So many events we go to I feel like bolting out the door after we stay 5 minutes. I could have stayed at the 50th wedding anniversary of Willie and Maggie Bostick for a long, long time. Love was in the house. Blessings to you both, I gained wisdom from you both in the time we have spent together. I thank you for a little slice of the boundless, precious, imperfect but eternal love you have shown to us through your commitment to marriage and life together.

"Love is in the house and the house is packed, so much so I left the back door cracked, Mama always said it's a matter of fact that when love is in the house the house is packed.....Love is in the house and the house is packed, so much so I left the back door cracked Daddy always said that I wish I was black cuz when love is in the house the house is packed..." Toby Mac

Last Day of School

Today is Daniel's last day at Elmer Wood Elementary School. Daniel AND Andy started Kindergarten there. Elmer Wood has been a part of our lives for 11 years. Many great memories, some painful , but we have been blessed to have our kids grow up in such a caring environment. As I waved good bye to Daniel this morning, I felt that a new part of life was about to begin. More Change. Another Teenager in the house! I cried a few tears and felt a twinge of bittersweet as Daniel leaves after a great year with Mr. Sanchez. He had wanted Mr. Sanchez since he was in second grade. He is a great teacher and an awesome man for Daniel to learn from. At first he looks a little scary, but on the inside he has a beautiful heart. I know that Daniel understood that about him from the start. He will even be Daniel's football coach (yikes) this year, so the relationship will not end today. I doubt that it will ever end. He is the kind of guy that will probably be at Daniel's wedding someday. :) Also notice the Rams vs 49'er rivalry that they share in the picture. I told Daniel to wear his Jerry Rice shirt for Mr. Sanchez today, and Daniel being Daniel, went straight to his Marshall Faulk jersey. I decided that was the better choice for him today. Obviously Mr. Sanchez enjoyed it too. Do I want this time to end? No. Do I want him to move on? I sure do. God is good. I am grateful.
"The Mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.

The superior teacher demonstrates.
The Great Teacher inspires.

William A. Ward.

My Kids

Andy with Katy at the Prom 2007

Daniel waiting to steal home.

These are the best of times, watching them at every age grow and experience life as I have prayed they would.
The best part is being there to see it.

The Drugstore Project

This is my precious Daniel. Turns 13 in July. Plays baseball, basketball, football, you name it, he will want to see if he can succeed at it.The one thing I pray that he never tries are drugs. This week Daniel participated in a new program for 6th graders called "The Drugstore Project." He was chosen by his teacher to be the kid who chooses drugs, and is caught stealing them in front of his classmates. There were 9 stations set up at a middle school, each one showing the consequences of using ANY drug, and how it affects your body, your friends and family. John and I participated as his parents. I knew what what would happen at each station: arrest, juvenile hall, juvenile court, probation..a party, the emergency room, and his funeral. What I didn't realize, is how real it would become. Daniel is awesome, spunky, happy, makes good choices, keeps his grades good, but each step along the way helped me to realize that no child is immune to the pressures of their peers, to the possibility that our children could make one wrong choice ONE time. While we knew all the time that this was not real, that Daniel was acting, and the kids that give him a drug to try at the party were kids we knew that didn't use drugs, it somehow became real as the program progressed. As he passed out at the party, as paramedics arrived and put a breathing tube in Daniel's mouth and put him on a stretcher, as we progressed to the emergency room, I began to feel a panic.. a what if feeling any mother or father would feel as we watched the doctor and the nurses try to revive my son. I was not watching ER, I was seeing life leave Daniel as they used a "fake" defib on him, twice. Then announced the time of death. As we sat in the "waiting room", the doctor kindly came in and calmly informed us that our son had "died." Not real, I told myself, he is alive in the next room, I will be fine. Not fine. As we walked over to the boy with the sheet pulled over his head, I forgot I was on a Middle School Campus, in front of Daniel's class, in a tent that was not really a hospital. When they pulled the sheet back, and I saw Daniel lifeless. Tears, panic. "NO!" was all that my brain would scream. Tears, real tears, grief and terror as I held his face and stroked his hair. "Daniel, please, please, come back, no, no,no. Please Daniel, don't leave, NO!" I held his face and cried in my own world until someone touched me and told me that the class had left and moved on to the final station, the funeral home. I stepped back and came back to the real world, and I realized that it felt way too real for me. Daniel pulled back the sheet and said "Good job mom!" Good job?? what did he mean ..."Good job"? Daniel, my precious Daniel, mama was not acting. Do you know, could you even understand what your life means to me? We shared painful memories, and shattered hopes at the funeral, and then, we stepped away and held our son again. I did not want to let him go. For 3 days I just wanted to hold him. I thought about the parents that have to live that nightmare, with no homecoming. I pray for the 900 6th graders that experienced this program and watched a classmate choose to end their life that day with no intention of doing so. I pray that it touched each one in such a way that they will NEVER give in, never even take a step into the world of drugs. Last Tuesday was a day that I will never forget. I will never stop praying that the hearts of my children will be so full of love from God, family, and good friends that they will never fill it with something else that will always leave them empty, but fill it with Christ."Do not be overcome by evil my dear Daniel, but overcome evil with good."

No day but today!

Ok, I am taking the leap into the world of blogs, will add pictures as I go along. I have a husband of almost 24 years, and two awesome 16 and 12 year old sons, Andy and Daniel. Andy's world is movies, driving, proms and oh yeah..school. Daniel's life is full throttle over anything he loves, baseball, science, history, and just living. John my husband is a local pastor, and a keeper as far as husbands go. Many of my friends say this is a great way to keep in touch with people and I love to write, so I thought I would give it a go. Thanks Becky for the encouragement. Need to get a garden started, so I am off! Laurie